Saturday, September 15, 2012

The 13 Greatest Zombie Movies Ever Made

Zombie movies just won't stay dead. This weekend sees the release of a fifth (!) Resident Evil movie, and there are more films about the undead on the way. The good news is, the zombie movie genre has produced a huge variety of stunningly weird films over the decades.

Here are the 13 greatest zombie movies of all time. And yes, this includes a lot of different types of zombies — whether they're bitten by Sumatran rat-monkey, turned undead by a magical elixir or infected by the T-Virus, as long as they rot and move at the same time, they're still zombies to us. Here they are, in no particular order.

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1. 28 Days Later (2002)
Danny Boyle's horror flick not only gives rise to the fast zombie, it also makes time in the midst of the violence to humanize the fellow travelers. Sandwiched between undead fists full of human meat are touching scenes in supermarkets ,where strangers learn to trust one another. And it only makes it that much more sad when they're killed off. Honorable mention on this list: 28 Weeks Later.

2. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
George Romero's classic. The movie that spawned the whole legend of zombie films.

3. Zombieland (2009)
Sassy and smart, Zombieland works because it addresses the many problems with so many zombie movies: Characters always break the most important rules. But not in this film, which follows a gaggle of strangers as they embark across country looking for a safe haven. Plus there's a lot of audience wish fulfillment, especifically when the camp settles down in LA, invading the homes of the local celebrities and getting high on their stash.

4. Zombi 2 (1979)
Almost all of Lucio Fulci's zombie movies are pretty ridiculously awesome (in the "so bad it's good" sense) but Zombi 2 will live on in undead history books for the infamous Shark Vs. Zombie underwater battle scene.

5. Dead Alive (1992)
The best use of electric pink and red blood and fake skin in a zombie movie. Ever. Peter Jackson's Dead Alive is hands down the bloodiest zombie film, and when you live in a world where everyone's skin is made out of playdoh, it's no wonder. People's faces are ripped off, skin is stretched, and victims' rib cages are ripped out and handed to the owner. It's bloody and beautiful all at the same time.

6. ParaNorman (2012)
Goonies meets Dawn of the Dead, but with a whole lotta heart. This is a zombie movie you can bring your kids to, and that's one reason why we love Laika's new stop motion zombie feature. Not just because it's beautiful and scary, but also because it shows a whole new side to the blue-faced creatures of terror.

7. Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Social commentary packaged in a smart move. Dawn of the Dead is a fantastic zombie movie, not just because it awakened the survivalist in us all, but because it was also pokes an undead finger at the explosion of consumerism. We're all just starving shambling monsters consuming products, and never being satisfied. And even though the mall has become a common sight across the nation, this flick still holds up. Plus moving into a mall was a wickedly smart move, it's nice to follow a pack of smart characters. Unlike in Zack Snyder's remake, where the whole crew goes to hell chasing aftera lost dog.

8. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Easily one of the very best meta horror movies ever made. Almost every single previous zombie movie is spoofed or name checked here ("they're coming to get you Barbra!") and it's glorious. Plus there's real horror. Characters die, families are destroyed. But in the end (almost) everyone becomes a better person for it. It's a lovely film.

9. Death Becomes Her (1992)
Surprise! Didn't think this story about two decomposing birds battling it out qualifies for the zombie label? I say it does, and will take it up in comments with anyone who wants to disagree with me. This is not only a great magic zombie movie with an excellent surprise (drink the magic potion and you live forever, but if you die you live forever too as the slowly rotting shell of yourself). They cannot die, and they do decompose, so they're smarter than the average undead corpse and they don't eat brains. In a nutshell, they're more evolved zombies.

10. White Zombie (1932)
Not the best zombie ever made, but wildly considered to be the first (full length) zombie feature. Plus it starred Béla Lugosi as 'Murder' Legendre, the evil voodoo master who rules over an entire crew of zombies.

11. Army of Darkness (1992)
So they're Deadites and not "zombies," and Sam Raimi's series stretches the traditional zombie definition. They're still rotting bodies that come back to life, plus they're hilarious. We really adored the silly skeleton army and their wacky antics. Also this movie asks the burning question, is a pile of bones a zombie? Do you have to have skin in order to be a zombie? For now, we say yes. Because we can.

12. Resident Evil (2002)
The movie that launched four more T-Virus movies and copious "Milla Jovovich has nice legs while kicking ass" shots. Say what you will about it being silly or simple, Paul W.S. Anderson struck gold turning the video game world into movie reality. Plus it's fun — the combination of T-Virus monster with T-Virus zombie and plenty of additional evil Umbrella Corporation gadgets (like the wall of bone slicing lasers) keeps people on their toes, much like a video game. Note this was almost replaced with the very road warrior-esque Resident Evil: Apocalypse, but it was the first.

13. Re-Animator (1985)
Completely off-the-rails insane, but still scary. Re-Animator stars the now cult treasure Jeffery Combs, and centers around a student who brings his professor back to life — and things go terribly wrong, as they so often do. Featuring the unforgettable image of a zombie head between the legs of poor Barbara Crampton. [link]

Friday, September 14, 2012

10 Tasty Fast Foods You Can't Get in the USA

We think we're spoiled for choice in North America, with every kind of fast food we could possibly dream of easily available within driving distance. We are so wrong. Restaurant chains like Dunkin' Donuts, McDonald's, Burger King, and many others have expanded (like our waistlines) into global dominance—and they're offering all kinds of tasty delights you can't get stateside. Read on to see what you're missing!



Macarons

McDonald's, France

Oh France, you're so fancy. While we're stuck ending our meals with Shamrock Shakes, French patrons get mandarin or mango macarons for dessert. How is it that French women don't get fat, again?

Seafood Pizza

Pizza Hut, Japan

Forget pepperoni or mushrooms—at Japanese Pizza Huts you can top off your pie with a combination of tuna with mayonnaise, squid, and prawn. Feeling healthy? Add some corn on there!

Rosti Brekkie Wrap

McDonald's, Australia

Are we sure this is English? Come to "Macca's" for the "Rosti Brekkie Wrap, (which) has a rasher of bacon, a freshly cracked egg, a slice of cheese, and a golden potato rosti … topped off with BBQ sauce, on a flour tortilla." American translation: Come to McDonald's for the potato breakfast wrap, which has ham, a freshly cracked egg, a slice of cheese, and grated fried potato. Why the egg is perfectly square remains an Australian mystery.

Breakfast Congee

KFC, China

The Chinese KFC breakfast menu kind of overwhelms us, honestly. Where's the chicken (or the Kentucky Fried for that matter)? Although we're not so sure we could eat a steaming bowl of KFC-style Congee (rice porridge with pork, pickles, mushrooms, and preserved egg) at 6:00 a.m., we could get behind the side order of Youtiao (fried dough sticks) that comes with it.

Coffee Jelly Frappuccino

Starbucks, Japan

Do you take your coffee with milk, cream, sugar, or jelly? Yes, in Japan, you can order a Starbucks Frappuccino topped with "fresh coffee jelly." PB&C sandwich, anyone?



Chili Cheese Nuggets

Burger King, Germany 




You know what Americans like to pair with a cheeseburger? MORE CHEESE. Take note, Burger King, and bring your Chili Cheese Nuggets (deep fried gooey cheese flecked with chili peppers) to the American masses.

Kebab Pizza

Domino's France

Domino's has mashed up every drunken late-night snacker's dream foods—kebabs and pizza. It's tomato sauce, mozzarella, roasted chicken kebab, green peppers, onions, lightweight cream (gotta stay healthy), and oregano.

Curry Beef Donut

Dunkin' Donuts, China

Are traditional donuts just too sweet for you? Meat it up with a Curry Beef donuts from Dunkin Donuts in China. Curry, beef, sugar, fried dough … Yep, this doughnut hits all the major food groups!



McSpicy Paneer

McDonald's, India 




Not only do the McDonald's in India offer an entire "Spicy Delights" menu, but they also offer online ordering and delivery. Why are we missing out on extra spice and the opportunity to be even lazier than a drive-through? Personally, we think the McSpicy Paneer, which is basically deep-fried cheese on a bun, would be well-received stateside.

Chocodilla

Taco Bell, India

What's the only thing that could make a quesadilla even unhealthier (and more delicious)? Replacing the cheese with "sinfully hot molten chocolate." Indian Taco Bell, you evil genius! [link]
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